Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
