omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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