there's paper in my vomit.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
