He disabled his match.com account in front of me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
