I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
