So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
