I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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