Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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