I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she peed on how many people?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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