did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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