it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
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I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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