she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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