yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
