He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
birth control should be required to get into college
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
