STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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