So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
