i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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