I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
