i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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