Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize