What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Let's get the cat blown out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
