Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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