wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
