Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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