He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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