It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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