my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
