I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
please don't ironically join a cult
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