Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Randomize
