Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Randomize
Follow @tfln