I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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