May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
