Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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