No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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