the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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