I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
