My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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