my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
