would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
