I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
