she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
