It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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