Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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