Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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