My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
