No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
