Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
