I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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