I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize