You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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