So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
