i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
