She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
