And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
