so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
