True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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