i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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