Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Drunk is a universal language darling
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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