Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She even gives head with a lisp.
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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