I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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