I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
