So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
