my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
