Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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