Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
