Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
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how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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