What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
